Home
Hugh "Man Amongst Men" Hefner
26 August 2002 @ 09:31 am
There was a lot of drama in the west end of Chicago at that point, and that made it really difficult to be Hugh Hefner. But somehow, I rose from those ashes, and had a golly good time anyways.

May I kick back and spin you a little tale of my youth?
Read more... )
 
 
Hugh "Man Amongst Men" Hefner
22 August 2002 @ 10:40 am
You know those guys in Middle School, who could bend themselves over and give themselves head?

I always had to pay Middle School girls to do that for me.
 
 
Hugh "Man Amongst Men" Hefner
31 July 2002 @ 11:32 am
Last night, while making love to two sets of beautiful blonde twins (Mental note: Remember to call the Olsens in a year or two six months.) I made seventies porn music noises with my mouth.

Bow Chicka Wow Wow. Chicka Wow. Bow. Chicka.
 
 
Hugh "Man Amongst Men" Hefner
01 July 2002 @ 10:51 am
Sex used to be so much simpler. Even the names of the acts.

Take "Missionary Position" for example. Seven syllables. A long, elegant name.

And now we've got "Doggie Style." How can you even propose that to a woman while drinking a martini and smoking a fine cigar?

Curse you, Snoop Doggy Dogg. Curse you.